I woke at six o’clock as usual to my alarm
going off; I silenced it and tried,
unsuccessfully, to move away from Liam. I
had my head on his chest and my leg
draped over his crotch, which as usual, was
already full of the ‘morning glory’ that
happened to all boys. He had his hand on
my knee, pinning my leg there, and his other
arm wrapped tightly around my waist. As I
tried to move, he tightened his hold,
mumbling something in his sleep about not
wanting to go to college anymore.
I moved my arm and tapped his stomach. “Six
o’clock,” I mumbled, tapping him again when he didn’t open
He groaned and tightened his grip, pulling me so
that I was completely on top of him. I could feel his erection
pressing between my legs. I gasped at the feel of it, it was
strange but it actually felt nice. What the hell is wrong with
me? This is Liam for goodness sake! I tried to wriggle free,
but it just made us rub together in places that I would rather
not think about my brother’s man-whore of a best friend
not think about my brother’s man-whore of a best friend
touching. My body started to tingle and I couldn’t help the
little moan that escaped from my lips. Oh my God, that
actually feels nice!
“Liam!” I whisper yelled at him.
He snapped his eyes open and looked at me,
shocked. His expression quickly changed to his trademark
smirk, which I wanted to slap right off of his face. “Well
good morning, Angel. Wow, this is a first,” he purred,
raising his eyebrows, his smile amused.
“Will you let go of me for goodness sake?” I whisper
yelled at him. He raised his hands in a I surrender fashion
and I quickly rolled off him. “It’s six,” I grumbled, frowning.
He rolled onto his side to look at me. “OK. Don’t be
mad at me all day today, please. I didn’t know I did that, I’m
sorry, Angel, OK?” he whispered, kissing my forehead
before quickly climbing out of the bed and throwing on his
“OK, whatever,” I mumbled, settling into his warm
spot in the bed where he had been laying.
“I’ll see you later.” He shot me a wink before
climbing out of my window. Rolling over, I buried my face
into his pillow, I could still smell him and it made me feel
safe and calm. I drifted back to peaceful sleep for another
After getting dressed more peacefully than
yesterday, I stuck in my iPod and was happily dancing
down the hallway when I spotted him eating my cereal
again. Every freaking day! I sighed and stole the bowl out
of his hands.
of his hands.
“Damn it, Liam, there’s like four other cereals in the
cupboard and you only eat mine! Why? Do you do it just to
piss me off?” I asked, frowning, as I started munching on
“Good morning to you too, Angel,” he said politely,
with an amused smile on his face.
“Right, hi.” I plopped down and eating my cereal as
Jake came into the kitchen.
“Hey, guys, you nearly ready to go?” Jake asked,
throwing us each a juice box as usual. We both nodded and
headed to Liam’s car.
As I got to school, Sean grabbed me and pulled me
off for a talk. “What’s up?” I asked, concerned. He actually
looked a little frantic; his hair was all messy, it looked as if
he had been pulling on it or running his hands through it a
lot, his eyes were tight with stress.
“I forgot it’s Terri’s birthday tomorrow, and I have no
idea what to get her!” he cried desperately, running his
hands through his hair roughly, confirming my earlier
suspicions about the style.
“Calm down, you’ve still got time. Now, what sort of
thing does she like?” I asked, thinking about Terri and all
the things I knew about her.
“I wanted to get her something she could keep, but I
don’t know what….” He closed his eyes, obviously
“Sean, calm down. How about some pretty
earrings? She likes studs, right? You could also get her a
new jewellery box or something to put them in,” I suggested.
new jewellery box or something to put them in,” I suggested.
His face brightened. “Yeah! She has this like old
crappy jewellery box at the moment. That’s a great idea! Oh
God thank you, Amber. I owe you big time! I’m gonna skip
this morning so I can go get it,” he said, smiling excitedly
and running off, shouting bye over his shoulder. I walked
back to the school and noticed that there was hardly
Holy crap, am I late? I started to run down the
hallway; I could see Liam and a couple of his friends
walking towards me.
“Slow down, Angel, you’ll fall,” Liam shouted,
smirking at me as I half ran, half walked towards him. As I
passed him, he stuck his foot out tripping me up, but before
I hit the floor he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist,
and pulled me upright. “Jeez, Angel, I know I’m hot, but you
don’t need to fall at my feet,” he teased, making all his
friends laugh. I slapped him hard on the chest, glaring at
him. “Oh I like it a bit rough, Angel, you know that,” he said,
smiling wickedly. He still hadn’t let go of my waist, he
stepped forward and pressed his body against mine, his
hands slipped down to my ass. “Mmm nice,” he purred in
I hated being touched; it brought back memories of
my Father. I gasped, and before I could even think about
what I was doing, I jerked my leg up and kneed him in the
balls. He grunted and let go quickly, bending in half and
clutching his groin.
“Keep your fucking hands off me!” I shouted, trying
not to cry. I was struggling to breathe and my hands were
I turned to run away but he grabbed my hand and
pulled me back to him. “Angel, I was only joking around, you
know I’d never hurt you,” he moaned. His voice cracked
slightly, it sounded like he was in pain.
He looked straight into my eyes; I could see the
honesty in his deep blue watery eyes. He pulled me into a
hug and put his lips to my neck, just where it joined my
shoulder and breathed deeply through his nose, sending
his hot breath blowing down my neck and back. This is
what he always did to calm me down, when I would sob on
his shoulder; this was the only thing that seemed to work. I
could feel his heart beating fast against my chest, so I
focused on matching my breathing to the pace of his. I
breathed in his smell until I had calmed myself down. I
pulled back and he was just looking at me, sorrow clear
across his face.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, Angel, I didn’t
think,” he said apologetically.
I nodded and sniffed, wiping my face on my sleeve.
“I’m sorry too. Did I hurt you?” I asked, wincing at the
thought of how hard I had kneed him.
He shrugged. “I’m OK, it was my fault,” he replied,
bending to look into my eyes again. I looked away quickly,
feeling uncomfortable. I had a feeling that when Liam
looked into my eyes, he could see the real me, the one I
tried to hide from everyone, the scared little girl that doesn’t
like people to touch her because it brought back memories
of those Sundays and my father leading me over to the
couch, guiding me to sit on his lap. When people touched
me, even girls, my heart went into overdrive and I always
start to feel sick. The only exceptions to this are my mom,
Jake and Liam. This was the exact reason that I didn’t date.
The thought of someone touching me or kissing me, made
my skin crawl.
I looked away from him and noticed that he had a
big wet patch on his shoulder where I had been crying. I
wiped it, frowning. “I ruined your shirt.”
“I’ve got others, Angel, don’t worry,” he replied with
an easy smile, it wasn’t a smirk that he gave other people,
it was a genuine smile, the ones I usually only get at night or
when no one was around.
I looked around and realised we were alone in the
hallway; I gasped in shock. “Where?” I muttered, looking up
and down the hallway desperately.
“They went to class,” he answered. “Come on,
there’s no point going in late, so let’s go get a drink or
something.” He pulled me by the hand to the parking lot,
towards his car.
“Liam, what? I can’t skip class!” I cried, glancing
around quickly to see if anyone noticed two students just
waltzing out of the school.
He laughed. “Come on, Angel, one class won’t hurt.
You’re already ten minutes late for it anyway.” He opened
the passenger door and gestured for me to get in.
I sighed and reluctantly climbed in. I didn’t really
mind spending time with Liam but it just depended which
Liam would be here with me, the night or the day one. Night
Liam was considerate, loving and thoughtful. Day Liam was
a flirt, slut and a jerk. However, both night and day Liam’s
made me feel safe and protected. I turned to look at him
while he was driving; he had a small smile on his face.
“What’s up with you?” I asked, a bit concerned this
was going to turn into some sort of joke that would end
badly for me or embarrass me.
“What do you mean? I can’t be happy that we’re
spending some time together?” he asked, giving me a flirty
wink. I rolled my eyes and groaned. Great, an hour with
daytime Liam is my worst nightmare.
I wasn’t paying attention to where we were
going so I was surprised when we pulled
into the parking lot for the ice rink. He
grinned and got out; I followed him with a
frown. “What are we doing here?” I asked
as he grabbed my hand and pulled me
inside. Maybe they had a good café inside
or something, that was the only reason I
could think of for him to bring me here.
He ignored my question. “Hi, two please,” he said to
the lady behind the counter, handing over the money. I
gasped; we were actually going to skate? I’d been skating
a few times in my life but I was completely terrible at it.
“You need skate hire?” the lady asked with a friendly
grin while her eyes roamed over Liam’s body discreetly.
“Yeah, an eleven and a five please,” he replied,
winking at me. I frowned as he spoke, wondering how on
earth he knew my shoe size.
She passed him two sets of skates and he grinned
again, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the benches.
I noticed that the lady didn’t stop watching Liam as he
walked away, and she actually licked her lips at his ass. I
laughed and rolled my eyes at her, which made her blush
and look away.
“What’s so funny?” Liam asked, looking at me
“You’ve got another fan,” I stated, nodding my head
towards the woman. “You just can’t help yourself, can you?”
I teased with a small smile.
“Don’t worry, I’m not interested in her,” he replied,
looking at me as if trying to tell me something.
“Worried? Liam, I wasn’t worried,” I scoffed, as I
rolled my eyes.
We changed into our skates and walked towards the
ice. There was no one else on there, probably because it
was only just after nine in the morning. “Why are we doing
this? You know I can’t skate.” I winced, looking at the ice,
starting to panic.
He laughed and pulled me onto the ice. “I know, I
remember. Don’t worry, I’ll help you.” Liam and my brother
played Ice hockey for the school; Jake was the goal keeper
and Liam the striker. They had both been skating for years,
but I had never been able to do it. I loved to watch people
skate and always wished I could learn, but I literally couldn’t
stand up. He grabbed both of my hands as I slipped and
slid all over the place. He was skating backwards, facing
me. “You’re bending your ankles in slightly, Angel. Try to
keep them straight, that’s why you have no control,” he said,
looking at my feet.
I stood straighter and felt my feet slide out from
under me; instantly, he grabbed me around the waist and
leant backwards so that we both fell and I landed on top of
him, his body breaking my fall. He chuckled under me; I
pushed myself up to my knees so I was straddling him, then
sat down next to him. I couldn’t stand up so I waited for him
to get up first.
“OK, attempt number two.” He smiled, pulling me to
my feet easily. “Stand up straight and keep your feet still, I’ll
pull you around until you can get your balance.” He kicked
at my skates gently, nudging them to get them closer
together as he gripped my hands tightly.
I managed to stay on my feet for a while before
losing my balance. Again, he grabbed me around the waist
and leant back so that I fell on top of him. “Why do you keep
doing that?” I asked, pushing myself into a sitting position
again. I could feel the ice starting to wet the back of my
jeans, making me shiver.
“Doing what?” he asked, looking at me with a
“Every time I start to fall, you make yourself fall
backwards so I land on top of you. You’re going to hurt
yourself,” I explained, frowning.
He shrugged. “Rather me than you,” he mumbled
under his breath, pulling me to my feet again. I just stared at
him, shocked. Did he just say that? Maybe I heard him
wrong. “You’re getting better; you lasted at least a minute
that last time,” he teased with his trademark smirk.
OK, that’s more like the Liam I know, I just heard him
wrong that’s all. “Ha ha. Well a minute is good for me. You
know I can’t do this,” I grumbled, instantly falling again. He
managed to just hold me up this time by grabbing my hips,
pressing our bodies together and lifting me up off the ice so
I could get my footing back from scratch. I felt my heart start
to beat faster, but it wasn’t because of the usual fear of
someone touching me, it was something else that I couldn’t
understand. I blushed and looked away as he set me back
on my feet.
“Why are you blushing?” he asked, frowning at me
but looking amused at the same time.
“I’m not. It’s just cold, that’s all. My ass is frozen I
think.” I turned my hips to show him my wet jeans, rubbing
my ass to try and get some of the cold away. I heard him
pull in a deep breath and let it out as a sigh. I looked back
up to see he was frowning with his eyes closed; it looked
like he was in pain or something. “You OK?” I asked, still
rubbing my behind. He nodded and shrugged out of his
shirt, standing there in his low slung jeans and tight t-shirt
that showed off his muscles underneath. He put his shirt
around my waist and tied it into a knot at the front. “What
are you doing? You’ll get cold,” I scolded, as I tried to untie
the knot he’d made.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Next time I’ll bring a spare
sweater for your very fine ass,” he replied, grabbing my
hands and starting to pull me along again.
Next time? What does he mean, next time? Not that
I’m not having a nice time, but being here with Liam, it was
strange, it felt weird. Well, that wasn’t strictly true; it actually
felt good, which was what felt weird.
“That’s it! You’re getting it,” he cooed - which of
course made me lose my balance again. I pushed myself
up off of him for the third time, laughing hysterically. OK, this
really was fun, and it didn’t hurt. Usually, when I had come
skating with Jake and he had tried to teach me, he just let
me fall on my butt all the time. Within about thirty minutes I
was usually so bruised and sore that I just gave up. “See,
now you’re having fun.” Liam laughed, brushing the ice
crystals off of his back and grabbing me again. We
managed to skate all the way round three times before I fell.
I really was getting better.
After what seemed like forever, the rink was starting
to get busier and my stomach was growling. I was falling
less and less often, but I was still holding his hands in the
death grip. “What’s the time?” I asked casually as we
stopped by the side of the rink. First period must be nearly
over now, surely.
He pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and sucked
in air through his pearly white teeth, making a hissing
sound. OK, that didn’t sound good, maybe we’d missed
second period too…..
“Er Angel, school’s gonna be over in an hour,” he
“WHAT?” I almost screamed, making him flinch and
causing me to lose my balance. He grabbed hold of me
and slammed me into the plastic side of the rink to keep
me up, his body pressed into me, his face inches from
mine. My heart started to speed up again. He didn’t move.
He just stood there looking at me, staring into my eyes until
I started to feel a little light-headed. Suddenly, I realised it
was because I wasn’t breathing, so I sucked in a ragged
breath, which seemed to snap him out of it.
He pulled back but left his hands on my waist,
holding me up. “We’d better get going. If your brother finds
out I’ve been with you all day he’ll cut my balls off,” he said
with mock horror, making me laugh.
Instead of holding my hands to help me to the side,
he just continued to hold my waist, skating backwards as
he pulled me along. I didn’t really know what to do with my
hands so I put them on his shoulders. As I started to fall
again he bent down and scooped me into his arms,
gripping one of his forearms firmly under my ass, and
forced my thighs around his waist with the other hand as if I
weighed nothing at all. He turned on the spot and skated
forwards, fast. It was actually quite scary. I held my breath
and threw my arms around his neck, pressing myself to him
as tight as I could, probably choking the life out of him but
he didn’t complain. Instead of getting off of the exit like I
was expecting, he skated around the whole rink again,
before finally walking off of the ice and plopping me on the
What the hell was that about? “Why’d you do that?” I
asked, feeling a little uncomfortable that I just had my whole
body completely wrapped around him. I don’t know why I felt
uncomfortable about it though, he wrapped his body round
mine every night.
“Do what, Angel?” he asked, looking confused.
I pointed to the ice. “Skate around again. Why didn’t
you just get off at the exit? You skated past it,” I explained,
frowning, but smiling at the same time, this boy really is
He looked slightly uncomfortable but then rearranged
his expression into his usual ‘make all the girls
melt’ smirk. “You slowed me down the whole time; I just
wanted one lap where I could skate forwards, that’s all.” He
Right, now I feel a little guilty that I didn’t let him have
any fun, he had to baby me the whole time. “Liam, you go
on and skate some. I’ll sit here, it's fine. You should get to
have some fun too,” I suggested, giving him a half smile.
He grinned. “I had a lot of fun.” His expression
looked completely honest; he quickly stood up and went to
get our shoes.
On the way back to school he pulled into
the McDonalds drive thru. “Hi, can I help
you?” the speaker asked.
“Er yeah, can I get a big mac meal with a coke, and
a quarter pounder with cheese meal with a strawberry
milkshake. Do you still do those cheese melt things?” Liam
“Yeah we do,” the speaker crackled.
He grinned. “Great, a pack of those too then
please.” I just stared at him, a little dumbfounded; he had
just ordered my food and knew exactly what I would want.
He turned back to me and frowned. “What are you looking
at me like that for? Did I get it wrong?” he asked, looking
slightly concerned and unrolling his window again, ready to
change the order.
I shook my head, looking at him in amazement.
“How did you know what I have?”
He just laughed and looked at me like I’d said
something stupid. “You always have the same, Angel. And
you love those disgusting cheese things too but they don’t
do them all the time so….” he trailed off shrugged and
pulled the car up to the next window.
OK, now he is starting to freak me out. First he knew
my shoe size, now he knows what I order at McDonalds? I
mean, I know I’ve probably been here with him and Jake a
thousand times, but even Jake doesn’t know what I order
and he’s my brother for goodness sake. Liam just laughed
at me again and pulled the car into a space so we could
He was chatting openly about some concert that he
wanted to go and see and some movie that he saw last
week about zombies that he said would have scared the
life out of me. I was surprised how easy it was to talk to him;
I’d never spent much time with him on my own before. He
was usually always with Jake or a load of the boys, or had
some skank draped all over him, or we were asleep. He
was actually a really nice and funny guy. I couldn’t help but
wonder why he hides his awesome personality behind the
man-whore, male chauvinistic pig attitude; he should be like
this more often.
“Can I ask you something, Angel?” he asked,
looking at me seriously. I nodded and finished the rest of
my milkshake. “Don’t you trust me? How could you think I
would hurt you earlier at school? I’ve had plenty of
opportunities to touch you or force you into something over
the last eight years, haven’t I? Why would you think I would
hurt you?” he asked, looking really sad.
I dragged in a deep breath. “You just took me by
surprise that’s all; I do trust you, Liam, honestly. I know you
wouldn’t hurt me, it’s just hard for me, I don’t like people
touching me.” I frowned not really wanting to talk about it.
No one ever pushed me for details of what used to go on
with my father. I had refused to go to therapy after he left,
my mom and Jake had tried to talk me into it, but I just
didn’t want anyone to know. I was ashamed of it and what
he used to make me do. No one ever forced me to talk
about it though, and I loved them even more for it.
Liam took my hand. “I know you don’t, but I would
never hurt you, I need you to know that,” he said, rubbing
circles in the back of my hand. He still looked really hurt and
upset, I wanted to make him feel better but I didn’t know
The only thing I could do was tell him the truth. “Liam,
when people touch me my heart beats too fast and I start to
feel sick and a little dizzy. It’s not something I have control
over. The only people that it doesn’t happen with are my
mom, Jake and you. I’m sorry if I upset you, but I can’t help
it. I do trust you, honestly.”
This seemed to make him feel better and his face
brightened. “OK good. Come on then, let’s get back before
your brother has the attack dogs out waiting to rip my throat
out,” he suggested, chuckling. I settled back into my seat as
he drove us back to school. We pulled into the school
parking lot five minutes before the final bell. “Er, Angel, it’s
probably best not to mention today to your brother. I’m not
supposed to hang out with you,” he said with a shrug.
Not supposed to hang out with me. What does that
mean? “Why aren’t you?” I asked, confused.
He looked me in the eyes again, making my heart
speed up a fraction. “Jake said so. And on account of me
being a ‘disgusting man-whore’ as you so often put it.
Apparently, I just want to tap your very fine ass,” he said
with a smirk. “Which I would be more than happy to do, if
you want. You know, as payment for the skating lesson,” he
teased, winking at me.
I gasped. I had just spent the whole day with this boy
and had a nice time and he can ruin the whole thing in one
freaking sentence. “You really are a pig sometimes, you
know that?” I growled as I stepped out of the car and
slammed his door. I stomped off in the direction of the math
building which is where I should be, at least I can make it
look like I’ve been there if I walk from the right direction.
I saw Jake walking towards the car so I gave him a
few minutes before I made my way up and got in the back
like nothing had happened. “Hey, Ambs, you have a good
day?” Jake asked as I got in the car.
“Actually yeah I did, right up until the very end when
some slut hit on me,” I answered with a shrug. Jake
immediately slapped Liam around the back of the head.
“Ouch, shit, what was that for?” Liam asked, rubbing
“For hitting on my little sister.” Jake shrugged.
“How did you know it was me?” Liam whined. I
giggled as Liam shot me a dirty look and pulled out my
“Ambs, seeing as its Friday……” Jake said, trailing
I groaned, knowing instantly what this was about. His
weekly tradition. “No! No parties! Come on, Jake,
seriously? Does it have to be at our house every week?
There isn’t even a game tonight! It’s supposed to be an
after game party. I mean, can’t someone else have it for a
week so I don’t have to clear up after your drunken idiot
friends?” I asked, glaring at Liam again.
“Hey don’t bring me into this; I always help to clear
up!” Liam cried defensively.
I sighed, feeling defeated. My brother had a party at
ours every Friday night because we had no parental
supervision so it was easiest to have it at ours. I don’t know
why I bothered whining about it, it happened regardless of
whether I liked it or not. I turned my iPod up to drown out the
boys taking about girls they were going to screw, and
looked out of the window. I could see Liam trying to make
eye contact with me in the mirror but I just ignored him and
pretended to be completely lost in song.